She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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