I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
