God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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