A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
