Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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