just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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