So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
