hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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