1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
