I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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