He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We're too hungover to prance.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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