We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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