I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
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