matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
