How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
