You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
