if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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