no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
