Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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