id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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