Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
