White coat. Heels.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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