so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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