The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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