Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize