thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
nutella sex= disaster
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
