just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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