i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
