But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
