walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
