It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
