one two three fourrrrnication!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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