I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
