these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
