with your own penis?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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