your room smells of hookers.
And success
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
