Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This baby is an asshole
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize