3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
