What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
