Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
