Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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