so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize