It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
