If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
