Do you still have your period?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
