I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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