If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize