Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
