lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
