Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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