You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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