Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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