he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
