Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Randomize
