he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize