i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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