I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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