My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
