Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
