he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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