Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
