Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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