Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.

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(818): View more from California

Finally jerked of with a banana peel.

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(917): View more from New York City

well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."

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(904): View more from Florida

so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.

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