this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize